How Breathwork Helped me heal

As the bacteria made its way from the cells of my body and into my brain, I started to lose my memory.

First, it was small moments in conversations where I couldn’t follow the trail or forgetting where I was when I’d just arrived, or why I was there in the first place. Then it slowly worsened, I began to lose my sense of self in my everyday existence and it was confronting to me, to see my old self melt away with every herxing reaction.

Back then, I wasn’t sure what experience was more unkind….

The insufferable and excruciating pain this bacterium inflicted on my body, everyday incessantly, or the loss of self -identity in the process.

Neuro Lyme assaulted me from all angles, in very ….

I wasn’t aware of it then, but this fogginess in the brain, this cognitive attack, loss of self, this pain, was to become the greatest gift I could have asked for. I found out that in the depths of hell, you find heaven at its core.   

To burn, to dissolve into ash, to become nothing again.

It was in this space of nothing, that I started to notice my breath again. It was the only thing I could cling to; it was my only constant.

I would lie in bed, escaping the next seizure by deepening my breath and feeling into its sensation.

I became interested in breathing as a technique to calm my nervous system, I desperately wanted to stop the seizures.

The breath found me. I discovered rebirthing breathwork and I began the work. I was eager to heal my body.

To breathe energy as well as air, to bring life back into the body.

Conscious connected breathing became my ultimate healer.

Every full breath in connected to every full breath out, my body began to surrender,

I started breathing this breath regularly, I began to feel the life force that is the breath filtrate through my body and soon enough, the seizures stopped.

I kept breathing, I kept healing, I began to feel myself again.

My breath, became my cure.